Hello Beautiful People,

Blessings and love to you all.

You are probably looking at the title of the post and wondering, what is she talking about, right? Well, I thought I would never have to write about this subject; but it’s time.

We are all uniquely different and beautifully made by God; and He knows our name.

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7(KJV)

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matthew 10 30 (KJV)

My title of this post: Where are the kids? I said that because I had a greeter at church said that to me and my husband not long ago.
We just parked the Jeep and were walking into church saying hi to everybody. We said hi to this particular lady and she said, “Hey guys, Where are the kids?” The world stood still before me because all eyes was on us. I said, “They are not here yet.” I had to laugh because at one time I would have went up to her and said, “Have you seen me with kids? What business is it of yours?” I am saved; but I am not that saved that I let anyone talk to me any kind of way. I know that I have gained wisdom in this area of my life. My husband said that he would never say that to anyone he didn’t know.

Etiquette 101 
If you have never seen a person or a couple with children and you don’t know them; please do not ask them personal questions because you do not know their story. It is up to them whether or not they want to share it with you. I find that in the church arena sometimes it seems like being fruitful means that procreating is a prerequisite. If you happen to not be a part of the status quo, some people feel that they have the freedom to ask you personal questions that they have no business asking whatsoever.

Being fruitful and multiplying means not only in your marriage and children; but every area of your life. Whether it be you health, wealth, having enough to give to others or prosperity to name a few.

 Another example from a church that I had previously attended: The Pastor asked couples to stand and come down to the front of the altar if they want to be prayed over.  People who only knew of me, not knowing me personally were saying, “Aren’t you going to stand?”  I said, “No, I am praying for these couples.”  By the way, my husband was the Assistant Head usher at the time, so he was at the front of the altar to make sure if the people fall out in the spirit he and the other ushers would catch them. (In case you don’t know what falling out in the spirit means, it’s when you feel the Holy Spirit inside your whole being when hands are laid on you or not laid on you in prayer.) Would you believe the next Sunday people assumed we were both down front being prayed for to have a child. I said, “My husband is an usher and he was making sure the people were okay and praying for them at the same time.”

I have found that many times that the people who can say the most hurtful things are people in the church. You may wonder, “How is that? The church is suppose to be filled with holy people?” Just remember that these people, (including myself) are not perfect and you do not know where they are in their spiritual walk. You are not going to church to please them, but for your own spiritual growth and development. The church is suppose to be your house of refuge, but many times it can be a battleground because not everyone is at the same spiritual level as you. And I know I have to check myself because I want to make sure I am not saying something that may offend someone. The words are long-suffering, forgiveness and love one another. You can have an unusual word come from anywhere; but it is whether you receive those words or not is the key.

Etiquette 102
Please don’t assume that just because a person or couple does not have a child that they want to have children at that point and time; especially if you don’t even know them personally.

You need to have at least one child
Again, you don’t know my story and I don’t know you from Adam. I really am being nice and saying this in love, it’s none of your beeswax. You have to live your life and be the best you that you can be, don’t let anyone put you in a mold that they think is the best for you.

 For those who have one child
“When are you going to have another one. That child is going to be lonely.” I know a couple of people who were hurt and angry because people ask these questions like they are not good enough because they stopped at one child.
Wait a minute, I am an only chid and I have to tell you; I cannot miss anything that I never had.  I have a loving family who never made me feel like I was the only anything or that I was missing out. I am blessed to be here because my mother didn’t want children; but my grandmother changed her mind. My Father, mother, and grandmother never made me feel like being the only child was a odd thing.  My Father and Mother are with the Lord. However, I have an Aunt who does not have any children and has never been married. She is such in inspiration to me.

Most black families have children and you are in an interracial marriage.  You will have beautiful babies!
This statement is so ludicrous that I can’t do anything but laugh. And another thing, how do you know I am 100% black? You don’t know my story. Whether you have kids or not; they do not define you. They are a part of you; but they do not define you as a person.

Etiquette 103
I am saying this in love, please think before you speak. You don’t know why a couple have no children or decided to have only one child. Maybe it was hard for them to have kids and they were finally able to have one.  Maybe they want have only one child for financial or other reasons.  No matter what, again it is none of your business unless you are allowed into that person’s personal space.

Are you expecting, when is the baby due?
I didn’t think people were saying this much until I have heard a couple of friends say that strangers and family members would ask them this question. Some of the friends laughed it off, while others felt fat and like they let there body completely go.

Etiquette 104
Keep it simple sugar, keep your mouth shut. We have to really watch what we say because our mouths are becoming shooting darts instead of  praise and encouragement.

From the heart
If the Lord wants my husband and I to have a child, He will let us know. I  thank God for my life and I don’t want any Debbie downers to make me feel less than or of no value because I don’t have any children. Last year, we asked to be God parents to our cousin’s little boy and that’s cool. We even had someone asked me, “Are you ready now because we are Godparents.” Oh my goodness, I just kept smiling. I aspire to daily be an inspiration and mentor to people my age and younger. I love the Lord, and I try to treat people better than they treat me.  Whoever you are who tries to be negative, you are not my judge so don’t judge me because I am not critiquing your life.

Scripture for Meditation
Renewing the mind daily in God’s word will to filter out negativity.  It’s not a one time mediate and done; it is an every day walk in God’s word.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14 (KJV)

I am your Bubbling life coach and I am here to encourage and inspire you. You may feel hurt or depressed because of words said to you. Whether it is about having children or other areas in your life, but remember you do not have to stay there. God loves you! If you were the only one on the earth, Jesus died on the cross for your sins. If you would like for me to keep you in my prayers, your friend, or your loved ones please leave their names in the comments.