How Millennials Can Build Healthy Relationships In Tech-Infested World

by | May 28, 2018 | From the Heart | 0 comments

Let’s face it! Even though technology has done so much good in most of the business fields, we can’t ignore the fact it has caused more harm in the relationship sector. Millennials have been accustomed to casual dating no thanks to the dating sites all over the web.
Dating sites and social media have created a bad rap for relationships in this generation. With so many divorces and separation cases, we can’t ignore the underlying problem. Gone are the days where courting was a significant process before engagement and marriage. Gone are the days where “in sickness and in health, till death do us part” was taken with seriousness.
Separation, infidelity, and disloyalty has become the norm of the day. Dating sites have become more of an uber for sex rather than a platform to help people find love. Be as it may, here are some of the tips millennials can use to make their relationships strong in a tech-infested world:

Understand Your Happiness is Your Responsibility
Yes being in a relationship can make you happier. However, you need to make sure that you are happy alone before getting into any relationship. Millennials tend to believe that a partner is supposed to make them happy.
If you have this kind of mentality then your relationships won’t survive. With so much false implication of relationships on social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. True happiness comes from within and it is directly affected by your attitude.
If you want your relationship to work out in this generation, you need to find ways you can be happy even when your partner is not around. Despite the external circumstances, you have to make sure that you can stand your ground. Explore new hobbies and try out new sports, do anything you can to take responsibility for your own happiness.

Strive to Become a ‘We’
If you want to build a relationship that will thrive, grow, and mutually-supportive, then you have to make sure that you are separated and connected at the same time. Being in a co-dependent relationship is what millennials advocate for, however, such affairs are bound to fail.
You need to understand that you and your partner will have differences. Those differences however, are no negatives. Its not a necessity to have someone who shares all your views and interests. The incompatibilities and differences are the facts that keep a relationship full of fire and exciting if you both put aside the ‘I’s’ and become a ‘We’.

Time is Everything
Thank God for the messaging apps! Sure, our grandparents made their relationships work because they created time for each other. No matter what your work is or who you are, it is essential to nurture your relationship.
You need to make sure you schedule time for your relationship.This means creating time to have dates and spend downtime together. Shut out all things digital and technological gadgets. Your relationship is more like a garden, the more you tend to it, the more it will grow.

Compromise and Support
A relationship is comprised of two people with two different background, different values, different beliefs, practically different everything. This is why you need to strike a level ground with your partner so that you can both be on the same page.
Compromise is key if you would like to avoid all the disagreements. Where here is compromise there also needs to be support. If your partner has personal issues then you need to be their support system. If your partner is battling an alcoholic addiction and they need to go to Englewood drug and alcohol rehab centersthen you need to be there for them.

 Strive to Be Honest and Open
Loyalty is attributed by honesty and openness, and loyalty is a strong foundation in a relationship. You need to be able to trust your significant other with your deep and personal feelings if you want your relationship to be successful.
Being able to share emotions with your partner will build trust with your partner and relieve any stressors. This will allow your relationship to build stronger and prepare the both of you for the trials of life. You need to show each other how much you care by being a safe place for each other to share emotions honestly and openly without any criticism.

Work on Conflicts Head-On When They Erupt
Holding on to grudges is what kills relationships. Most divorces are attributed to inconsolable differences that erupt when conflicts were swept under the rug. If you and your partner leave your conflicts unresolved, they will build up overtime and create a much deeper, dividing resentment in the future.
This will eventually cause unnecessary stress in your relationship. You need to start handling conflicts by dealing with the issues that rise head-on instead of reverting to silent treatment, holding grudges, or attacking each other. Once you solve the issue, both of you need to let it go and move on.

Communicate
If you want your relationship to work in a tech-infested world, you need to abandon the technology. Yes texting may be efficient especially if you are miles away from each other, but actual and in-person communication is very important in relationships that intend to last forever.
The two of you need to know how to talk to each other outside of the internet and in person. Plan dates and activities together where you will be in each other’s company. Take time to know your partner in and out without any reservations.
Tell your partner what you like and dislike and vice versa. If your partner does something you don’t like, you need to be able to let them know. Avoid making assumptions about your partner’s behavior and learn to ask them instead. Wrong interpretations and assumptions tend to kill trust and eventually kill the relationship. Be a safe haven for your partner by showing them that you are easy to talk to and they can trust you.

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Memorial Day: A Day of Remembrance

by | May 28, 2018 | From the Heart | 0 comments

Hello Beautiful People,

JT and Hubby on Memorial Day 2018

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday weekend. I hope you took some time out of your Memorial Day to remember the soldiers who paid the ultimate sacrifice for the United States of America and also those honoring those who are fighting for our country now.

My hubby and I made sure we put on our red and blue.

I was getting a chance to be in the yard where it’s peaceful in the morning so I decided to film this video on honoring our military personnel.

These men and women paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we can spend the day at the beach or have a BBQ in the backyard, but most importantly so that we can live in freedom. They died defending our freedom and our rights. Take a moment to remember them and their families.

Are You Happy with Social Media?

by | May 25, 2018 | From the Heart | 0 comments

Hey Beautiful People,

Social media was all a flutter this past weekend with the Royal Wedding nuptials and fanfare. How many people felt happy about themselves after watching it streamed online all over the world? How many people felt insecure and negative thoughts about their own image after watching the wedding?  I am reading more and more how social media is making people feel depressed and leaving them with thoughts of insecurity about themselves. Simply watching a streamed program or putting up a picture on Instagram or Facebook can put a person into a state of depression because they don’t feel they measure up.

In the New York Times article, “You Asked: Is Social Media Making Me Miserable?” by Markham Heid,discusses how a social media can have a psychological impact of negativity.

“Social media overload may be even more detrimental for teens and adolescents, says Jean Twenge in the Times article, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of the forthcoming book iGen. “I think young people, especially, look at the so-called ‘highlight reels’ people post on social and compare themselves, so they may feel depressed or negative emotions as a result,” she says. Sites like Snapchat may be less about “performing” than some others—“but these sites go out of style so quickly now that it’s hard for the research to keep up,” she says.

Some experts challenge the cause-and-effect relationship between social media and negative mood, arguing that people who are prone to anxiety or isolation may be more likely to spend a lot of time on social media.

While that’s probably true, Vannucci and Twenge say the relationship seems to flow both ways—meaning people with anxiety or mood disorders are more likely to use social media compulsively, but that compulsive use may also promote these sorts of negative emotional states. “At least two studies have followed people over time and showed that heavy social media use came before lower psychological wellbeing and feelings of loneliness, rather than vice versa,” Twenge says.”

The Comparison Trap
The comparison trap is a dangerous place to live because you are never good enough. If  you have made any of the following statements:

I will never get to have my Knight in Shining Armor or Prince Charming?
I will never get to live in a Castle or have all those luxury cars at my disposal?
How come my life can’t be a fairytale?
Why can’t I be thin like that?
How come I couldn’t of be a part of the Royal Family?

If you said or thought any of those statements, you will have to either cast down imaginations or completely turn off what you are watching if you can’t handle it. Negativity is a false sense of wanting what someone else has. You don’t know what price was paid and you haven’t been in the other person’s shoes. Comparison is a false sense of unattainable joy that you will never have because materialism is never enough.

Rapunzel Rapunzel Where Art Thou?

JTwisdom

I use to always want to have very long tailbone length hair because I would see someone with pretty long hair on YouTube and i would always wonder why my hair would not grow that long. One day someone complimented me on my hair and said that they wished they had hair like mine. Wait a minute, they are complimenting me. I am wishing for something that I already have right in from of me when I look in the mirror. I have to be thankful for what I have not matter how small they may seem in my eyes.  Comparison is dangerous and will only bring you down and it can be hard to come up for air from that mess.

The scripture that popped in my head was 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

That means you get rid of that comparison thoughts out of your head because you are unique. Immediately when the thought comes up say I don’t believe that I am wonderful made and I am beautiful. You have gifts and qualities that only you can do and God has a purpose for your life. You have value and getting yours off of other people and look at your life and stay in your lane keeping focused.