Etiquette 101: Where Are The Kids?

Hello Beautiful People,

Blessings and love to you all.

You are probably looking at the title of the post and wondering, what is she talking about, right? Well, I thought I would never have to write about this subject; but it’s time.

We are all uniquely different and beautifully made by God; and He knows our name.

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7(KJV)

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matthew 10 30 (KJV)

My title of this post: Where are the kids? I said that because I had a greeter at church said that to me and my husband not long ago.
We just parked the Jeep and were walking into church saying hi to everybody. We said hi to this particular lady and she said, “Hey guys, Where are the kids?” The world stood still before me because all eyes was on us. I said, “They are not here yet.” I had to laugh because at one time I would have went up to her and said, “Have you seen me with kids? What business is it of yours?” I am saved; but I am not that saved that I let anyone talk to me any kind of way. I know that I have gained wisdom in this area of my life. My husband said that he would never say that to anyone he didn’t know.

Etiquette 101 
If you have never seen a person or a couple with children and you don’t know them; please do not ask them personal questions because you do not know their story. It is up to them whether or not they want to share it with you. I find that in the church arena sometimes it seems like being fruitful means that procreating is a prerequisite. If you happen to not be a part of the status quo, some people feel that they have the freedom to ask you personal questions that they have no business asking whatsoever.

Being fruitful and multiplying means not only in your marriage and children; but every area of your life. Whether it be you health, wealth, having enough to give to others or prosperity to name a few.

 Another example from a church that I had previously attended: The Pastor asked couples to stand and come down to the front of the altar if they want to be prayed over.  People who only knew of me, not knowing me personally were saying, “Aren’t you going to stand?”  I said, “No, I am praying for these couples.”  By the way, my husband was the Assistant Head usher at the time, so he was at the front of the altar to make sure if the people fall out in the spirit he and the other ushers would catch them. (In case you don’t know what falling out in the spirit means, it’s when you feel the Holy Spirit inside your whole being when hands are laid on you or not laid on you in prayer.) Would you believe the next Sunday people assumed we were both down front being prayed for to have a child. I said, “My husband is an usher and he was making sure the people were okay and praying for them at the same time.”

I have found that many times that the people who can say the most hurtful things are people in the church. You may wonder, “How is that? The church is suppose to be filled with holy people?” Just remember that these people, (including myself) are not perfect and you do not know where they are in their spiritual walk. You are not going to church to please them, but for your own spiritual growth and development. The church is suppose to be your house of refuge, but many times it can be a battleground because not everyone is at the same spiritual level as you. And I know I have to check myself because I want to make sure I am not saying something that may offend someone. The words are long-suffering, forgiveness and love one another. You can have an unusual word come from anywhere; but it is whether you receive those words or not is the key.

Etiquette 102
Please don’t assume that just because a person or couple does not have a child that they want to have children at that point and time; especially if you don’t even know them personally.

You need to have at least one child
Again, you don’t know my story and I don’t know you from Adam. I really am being nice and saying this in love, it’s none of your beeswax. You have to live your life and be the best you that you can be, don’t let anyone put you in a mold that they think is the best for you.

 For those who have one child
“When are you going to have another one. That child is going to be lonely.” I know a couple of people who were hurt and angry because people ask these questions like they are not good enough because they stopped at one child.
Wait a minute, I am an only chid and I have to tell you; I cannot miss anything that I never had.  I have a loving family who never made me feel like I was the only anything or that I was missing out. I am blessed to be here because my mother didn’t want children; but my grandmother changed her mind. My Father, mother, and grandmother never made me feel like being the only child was a odd thing.  My Father and Mother are with the Lord. However, I have an Aunt who does not have any children and has never been married. She is such in inspiration to me.

Most black families have children and you are in an interracial marriage.  You will have beautiful babies!
This statement is so ludicrous that I can’t do anything but laugh. And another thing, how do you know I am 100% black? You don’t know my story. Whether you have kids or not; they do not define you. They are a part of you; but they do not define you as a person.

Etiquette 103
I am saying this in love, please think before you speak. You don’t know why a couple have no children or decided to have only one child. Maybe it was hard for them to have kids and they were finally able to have one.  Maybe they want have only one child for financial or other reasons.  No matter what, again it is none of your business unless you are allowed into that person’s personal space.

Are you expecting, when is the baby due?
I didn’t think people were saying this much until I have heard a couple of friends say that strangers and family members would ask them this question. Some of the friends laughed it off, while others felt fat and like they let there body completely go.

Etiquette 104
Keep it simple sugar, keep your mouth shut. We have to really watch what we say because our mouths are becoming shooting darts instead of  praise and encouragement.

From the heart
If the Lord wants my husband and I to have a child, He will let us know. I  thank God for my life and I don’t want any Debbie downers to make me feel less than or of no value because I don’t have any children. Last year, we asked to be God parents to our cousin’s little boy and that’s cool. We even had someone asked me, “Are you ready now because we are Godparents.” Oh my goodness, I just kept smiling. I aspire to daily be an inspiration and mentor to people my age and younger. I love the Lord, and I try to treat people better than they treat me.  Whoever you are who tries to be negative, you are not my judge so don’t judge me because I am not critiquing your life.

Scripture for Meditation
Renewing the mind daily in God’s word will to filter out negativity.  It’s not a one time mediate and done; it is an every day walk in God’s word.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14 (KJV)

I am your Bubbling life coach and I am here to encourage and inspire you. You may feel hurt or depressed because of words said to you. Whether it is about having children or other areas in your life, but remember you do not have to stay there. God loves you! If you were the only one on the earth, Jesus died on the cross for your sins. If you would like for me to keep you in my prayers, your friend, or your loved ones please leave their names in the comments.

The Top 5 Causes of Sleepless Nights

It’s estimated that 50% of us struggle to get to sleep at night, wake up during the night, or stay up too late. That’s half of us regularly not getting a great night’s sleep. Without sleep, our bodies can’t recover from the day, we start each new day a little below our best, we’re less alert and focused, we’re more stressed out, our immune systems can’t work at their best, we can gain weight, and find ourselves feeling agitated and grumpy. Long term not getting enough sleep can even lead to serious physical and mental health problems. Struggling to sleep, or spending the night tossing and turning is often due to one of these five causes.

Money Worries
The average American family owe $8377. Usually, in the forms of credit cards, store cards and overdrafts and more often than not, a combination of all of them. Debt has become a normal part of life. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s stopped keeping up awake at night. So few of us seek help or look at a debt management program when we are having money troubles.

We spend time lying awake at night worrying instead. Don’t make this mistake. If you are struggling with debts, or a change in circumstances suddenly means you can no longer meet payments, get some help.

Not Exercising
Our lives can be incredibly sedentary. If you work from home, or mainly online, you may find that you spend a large portion of your day sat down. Many of us also drive everywhere, even short distances. This can mean that even when your mind is tired, and you want to go to bed, your body isn’t.

Try to move more. Walk short distances instead of driving, go for a walk on your lunch break, ride your bike to work or go to the gym when you are done. You may be amazed at how much better you sleep with even a little extra exercise.

Staying Online Late
Now we’re all online all of the time; it’s easy to stay up late at night scrolling through our social media feeds or playing games online. Both the blue lights emitted by the screen and the content you are devouring can keep you awake.

For a better night’s sleep, switch off and relax for at least an hour before bed. Then, leave your phone in a different room while you sleep.

Work Worries
It’s thought that over 50% of us are unhappy with our jobs. For some people, this is just a phase, or a mild annoyance that passes. But, for others, this is due to severe worries that keep them up at night, dreading the next day.

If you are unhappy at work, speak to your manager about making some changes, or consider a career change in an attempt to find a job that you love.

Environment
Sometimes, it’s nothing as deep as worries or concerns. Sometimes your environment keeps you awake. If your neighbors are loud, your partner snores, you live next to a busy road, or your mattress is uncomfortable, you may struggle to sleep. Make any changes you can, or get some earplugs. It’ll be worth it for a good night’s sleep.

Interestingly Romantic Ways To Spend Valentines

What do you know, looks like it’s that time of year again! Love is in the air, roses are everywhere because Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. It’s the perfect time of year to celebrate and appreciate the person you love but if you’re a bit last minute, you may want to plan early.

You might have had several Valentine’s Days before this one or it might be your first as a couple, either way you’re going to want to do something special. You may want to go all out with a helicopter ride tour of the city or do something cosy like chick-flicks and dinner at home. Whichever person you are and whatever your budget, there are special things you can do this Valentines.

Discover some unique Valentines date ideas so by the time the 14th comes, you are ready to surprise your loved one.

 Pick their favourite romantic movies
There’s no time quite like Valentine’s Day to watch chick flicks and order take-out. Pop open the red wine and snuggle up together for this special evening. It’s lower key but can still feel special with small finishing touches.

Go back to your first date
If you want to do something different this year, why not try recreating your first date. As far as unique ideas go, it can’t get more personal than this. Depending on how long you have been together, it may require you going back a bit. The effort you make though will be well worth it when you see the look on your loved one’s face.

Go camping in a quiet spot surrounded by nature
Valentine weekend can also be a good excuse to explore and get away from the normal nine to five. Breaking routine and doing something spontaneous can be so romantic in itself. So why not choose to surprise your partner with this unique gift and take them somewhere you know they’ll love.

Do something action-packed
This can certainly be a little different but it’s good to mix things up every once in a while. Something like going to a shooting range for the day, quad biking or paint balling will be a fun way to celebrate this year.

Drive around the city and check out new spots
Simple enough but may require a bit of planning on the map, this is a lovely idea that enables you to experience new things together. Check out quirky cafes or museums you might have missed on your excursion.

Ice skating
Don’t you just love it when you see couples go by holding hands and giggling on the ice rink? It’s a beautiful way to spend Valentines and do something you wouldn’t usually do.

Enjoy sunset together
Grab some chocolates, wine and maybe a picnic then choose a romantic spot on a hill somewhere.  Staring at the sunset together can offer a beautiful moment and be something simple yet meaningful.

Choosing one of these unique ideas will set your Valentine’s Day off to a great start. So, keep things sweet and enjoy the time you spend with your loved one this Valentine’s Day.

The Journey To Find Out Where We Came From

Hello Wonderful People!

I hope you are having a wonderful week. It’s been bitterly cold here in the Show Me State. I hope you are staying warm and enjoying a good book. I have been reading Time Management Magic by Lee Cockerell, who recently spoke at a reception at our church.

Have you ever wondered about who you are and why you are who you are? Have you ever thought about what makes you, you? If you could find out more about your parents, your grandparents and your ancestors; would you do it? If you could take a test that would tell you more about your ethnic makeup, would you be curious to find out the results?

Taking a Journey To Find Out Where We Came From

For a while now, my wife and I have been asking these questions and curious to know more about us. We wanted to know more about the wonderfully unique attributes that God used to make us. We had been hearing advertisements on TV and online about DNA tests that can help answer these questions. To be honest, I was quite skeptical of them from the beginning; but my wife wanted to take the test anyway. After asking colleagues about it, and doing some of my own research, I decided that it would be worthwhile. So, my wife and I decided to take a journey – a journey to find out where we came from.

Of the many companies out there, I decided to use the testing service from 23 and Me. From my research, 23 and Me offered the most comprehensive results and provided the most details. With this test, it will break down your DNA into ethnic percentages; telling you how much of DNA is from a specific region or area of the world. The results and reactions that I had seen from the people who took the test were amazing and made me a believer.

23 and Me uses your own saliva to analyze your DNA

Why Take The Test
For my wife and I, we have very different reasons for taking the test. Yes, we both wanted to know more about where our ancestors came from; but it was much more to it.

Me
I previously researched my family and traced my them back to the 1850s when they migrated from Germany. Looking at the family tree, all of my ancestors from that point to now where from Germany. I wanted to know if the scientific research matched the genealogical research. I wanted to know with more certainty if this was accurate or if there were other ethnicities in this mix. I had not researched the family prior to the 1850s, so I didn’t know if other ethnicities were in the mix prior to that time. I have always said that my family was German; but now would I have to add other groups into that. Also, in my line of work as a historical researcher, I help people doing their own genealogical research. I wanted to be give my opinion of the testing if anyone would ask me.

My Wife
I just wanted to learn more about my family pure and simple.I first started looking into Ancestry. However, my hubby told me that 23 and Me had a special running during Thanksgiving so we decided to test it out. I have heard some history from family members that I had a Native American great-grandmother and a half-white, half-black Grandfather on my mother’s side, but not sure what region. I know very little about my father’s side of the family. Other than that, I have little known information about my family heritage. I am curious to see what the results will say when I get the percentages back.

We started the journey back in November. We submitted our salvia test and we should be getting the results back anytime now. When we do, we post the results and our reaction. Let us if you have taken the same test or a similar one. Were the results what you were expecting? What did you learn from it?

4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Borrowing Money

Borrowing money seems like it’s just a natural part of life these days. Where it used to be considered a last resort, now most of us just factor debt into our monthly finances. The cost of living is going up but our income isn’t going up at the same rate so there’s often a shortfall that needs to be made up with borrowing. But are we too quick to borrow money? If there’s something that we need to buy, we’ll often just reach for the credit card without thinking about whether we actually need to spend that money. We’ll take out a student loan for college even though we have a job and can pay for it. There are some circumstances where it is sensible to borrow, but others where it just isn’t necessary. So, how do you know which it is?

Image Source – Flickr

Do You Need To Make The Purchase?
This is the first question you should be asking yourself. If you are borrowing money because the boiler is broken and you can’t afford to fix it right now, that’s fine. You need heating and hot water so borrowing money for it is fine. However, if you’re spending the money on a new car or a vacation, you don’t desperately need those things. You can still buy that stuff, just put it off for a few months and actually save up the money. That way, you aren’t paying all of that expensive interest on top.

Can You Get A Good Rate?
Speaking of interest rates, how high are they on the loan that you want to take out? If you’ve got a poor credit score, you’ll only get accepted for loans that have a high interest rate on them. That’s just going to get you into more financial trouble. If that’s you, look at how to improve credit score and try to make some changes. Once you’ve increased your score, you’ll be able to borrow that money at a much more affordable rate.

Have You Got Savings?
A lot of people make the mistake of borrowing instead of using their savings because they think that, as long as they’ve got savings, they’re doing well financially. The thing is, if you borrow money and then start paying loads of interest on it, you’ll have less money to put aside in your savings anyway. It’s far more sensible to use your savings for whatever urgent purchase you need and then top it up again later on. You won’t have debts hanging over you and you don’t risk getting yourself into serious financial trouble by taking out lots of loans.

Can You Make Cutbacks?
If you find that you’re borrowing and using credit cards every month just to make ends meet, you’ve got a problem somewhere; you’ve got more going out than coming in. Finding a job that pays more money is one solution, but the obvious thing to do is just spend less money. People will often tell you that they absolutely can’t afford to make cutbacks but this is rarely true. If you tracked every single penny that you spent for a month, you’d be surprised at just how much you’re wasting on stuff you just don’t need to buy. Cut those purchases out and you might find that you don’t need to borrow any money.

There are certain times when borrowing is the right thing to do, but make sure you answer these 4 questions before you do.