9/11 – Twenty Years Later

Hello Wonderful People,

Today has been an emotional day.

The terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, are forever engrained into our hearts. We will never forget the horrific images of the airplanes careening into the Twin Towers. Or hearing the telephone messages of passengers calling their family members and telling them what was happening and they weren’t going to make it out alive. Or listening to someone talk about their loved one who died fighting in the war of terror that ensued after the fact.

Flags of Valor Display on Art Hill in Forest Park, Saint Louis, MO

September 11th invokes a wide range of emotions. My heart aches for those who lost their loved ones on that day or in the war. But at the same time, it is a day of much joy and happiness. You see, while today marks twenty years since the terrorist attacks, it also marks twenty-two years that JT and I walked down the aisle and became husband and wife.

The highs of knowing that my life has been forever changed by the most wonderful woman in the world, remembering the beautiful ceremony, eating wonderful food, and sharing great memories with friends and family at our wedding. To the lows of know that just two years later, life as we knew it had changed, terrorism was a real threat, and so many people died in the name of preserving the American freedom that we have lived in.

Now twenty years since that horrific day, I find that I have changed. In the years past, while I felt a deep sadness about what happened that day, I still wanted to celebrate our wedding anniversary. I found myself saying, “We were married before this happened, so I am going to celebrate.” But this year, it was different. I could only post things related to the terrorist attacks and the war on terror on my social media. I wanted to post photos of my wife as a countdown to our anniversary, but my heart told me NO. It wasn’t right. Maybe it has to do with the end of the war in Afghanistan and the recent loss of the thirteen soldiers in Afghanistan. Maybe it is the heartache for the people who died on that day truly hit me.

The terrorist attacks of September 11th and the war that followed became so real to me today. After eating lunch at Red Lobster for our anniversary, we went to see the Flags of Valor presentation. Over seven thousand United States flags are placed on Art Hill in Forest Park in Saint Louis, MO. Each flag includes a photograph of a soldier who died fighting in the War on Terror, along with a replica dog tag that gives their name, date of death, and where they died. There are also flags honoring the first responders, police officers, and firefighters who died while helping the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. A panel display includes photographs of each of the people who died on September 11th. Fox News captured this video shows the magnitude of the presentation.

Seeing more than seven thousand flags, each with a photograph and a dog tag of a man or woman who sacrificed their lives so that I can continue to live in freedom. So that terror would not prevail, and that evil has no place in this world. All I can say is, “Thank You!” And we all must say, “We Will Never Forget!:

A flag honoring Vincent G. Danz, New York Police Officer who died at the World Trade Center during the September 11th Terrorist Attacks

 

How I Celebrate Father’s Day With My Father In Heaven

Good Afternoon, Wonderful People

I want to take this opportunity to wish all of the fathers a very Happy Father’s Day. I’m not going to lie. For me, this day is tough. My father passed away when I was twelve. To be honest, I use to hate it. Having to ‘celebrate’ it without him was tough, especially when I would see other people’s fathers were still alive. What made it even harder is that my father’s birthday is June 13th, usually just days before Father’s Day. As time went on, I was able to turn my grief into joy. And today, I can take what was a sad day and still celebrate Father’s Day even though my own father is in Heaven.

Jay with his father

I know that many people who have lost their fathers will spend the day at the cemetery. For me, this is a big NO. I have done that in the past, and I felt more depressed and sad when I left. I refuse to go to a cemetery unless I am there for an actual funeral. For me, a cemetery does not bring me good feelings for my father. It just reminds me that he is gone and not with me in the physical world. And I am surrounded by the reminder that family members and other people are no longer with us. There is something about a tombstone that doesn’t bring me peace. So that is why I am not going to a cemetery unless it is to honor a family member or friend who recently passed.

When I am in a cemetery, it makes me focus on my father’s death. The last six weeks of his life were extremely hard for him. He lost his battle with lung cancer. I don’t want want to focus on that or how he struggled to live. I want to focus on his life and how he lived it. I want to focus on what he meant to me, my mother, my family, and the people he knew. Although he walked on this earth for only 54 years, he greatly impacted the people who knew him.

I want to remember him as the man who started a construction company with only an eighth-grade education. I want to remember the man who provided for this family, for his employees, and the partners even when he struggled through the tough times in business. Finally, I want to remember the man who told my mother that he wanted just one more child, which is why I am here today.

 On Father’s Day, It is easy to think about the times that I lost out with him not being there. The first shave, my graduation ceremonies, my wedding, or the father-son talks that he missed out on. But I focus my mind on thinking about the good memories that I have of my daddy. I would spend time traveling to the construction sites; when he would give me a paycheck for helping him on the job or watching him build things in his woodworking shop. I had to train myself to focus on the good memories and to cast aside the bad memories. I had to work hard to focus on how he lived his life and not think about how his life ended. As the years went by, it became easier for my mind to stay focused on the good times. And now when I think about him, or his birthday or Father’s Day,

On this Father’s Day, I want to honor and thank my father. He is the reason I am here and why I am the man I am today. Even though his death has separated us in the natural for almost thirty-four years, I will always have him close in my heart.

Thank You, Daddy!
I Love You!

If your father is in Heaven, how do you remember him on this day?

 

 

 

COVID-19: One Year Later

Hello, Wonderful People

I pray that you are doing well. Spring is around the corner, and daffodils are starting to bloom.

It is hard to imagine that at this time last year, the world began shutting down, and everything came to a sudden halt. COVID-19 hit like a bombshell and quickly changed life as we knew it. Schools shut down, public events were canceled, and people were told not to leave their homes. A temporary solution to a potentially serious situation would be necessary to keep us safe so that we could return to a normal life.

One year ago today (March 18th), my wife and I started working from home with the anticipation of returning to the office by April 6th. That two-and-a-half-week period has turned into a full year. We are still working at home for most of our time while returning full time in the office has not yet been discussed.

No one could have imagined that a year later, we are still talking about it. We are still under the grips of COVID-19 and still looking to return to normal. What is normal? Thankfully, we see the light at the end of the tunnel. People are now being vaccinated, new cases are going down, and businesses are being reopened.

Without question, COVID has affected everyone, either directly or indirectly. Many people lost their jobs, their livelihoods, and even their lives. We remember and honor these people. While people may disagree about prevention and treatment methods, we all must agree that when life gets back to normal, it will not be the same normal as before. For the first time, people have focused on cleanliness at home and in public. Working from home has become the norm, and with a greater expectation of continuing. Loneliness and depression have escalated. People will love and appreciate their friends and family more after being isolated from them for such a long period of time.

For me personally, I see an increased change in ways that I didn’t think was possible. I started looking inside myself and my life. Working from home had proven to be a viable option for me when I never thought it could be possible. I have attended several online training sessions for personal and professional growth that was never available in the virtual format before COVID-19. I could spend more time with my wife, Seppe, and with our Vinny as he faced the last months of his life.

Our Vinny

How has COVID-19 changed your life? Are you concerned about the new normal, or do you embrace change? How are you planning to alter your daily life to remain safe? Let me know in the comments below.

 

 

Breaking A Humerus Bone Is No Laughing Matter (Part 1)

February 13, 2020

A not so typical day turned into a day that I will never forget.

February 12th produced an atypical rainstorm. But through the night, the temperature dropped and turned bitter cold by the morning of the 13th. A school group planned a visit to the Library and I planned to arrive early to work with them. Vinny, our then 12-year-old collie, had an appointment to have his teeth cleaned. It was a full day before it even began.

We dropped off Vinny a little after 8 am and arrived to work at 8:45 am. As I was walking into the building, I slipped on a patch of ice on the sidewalk and landed on my left shoulder. After the initial shock of realizing what happened, my wife checked me out and helped me to stand up. I was in pain, but I thought everything would be okay. I managed to walk inside, check-in with the security office, and went into the restroom before heading to my desk. While heading upstairs with my wife by my side, I had to sit down at one of the tables because the pain began to increase to an unbearable point. After sitting for a few minutes and thinking it was getting better, I attempted to stand up. The pain shot through my body and I never made it up. My wife asked the security officer to call an ambulance. I needed to go to the emergency room for further observations and testing.

Thankfully the ambulance arrived quickly and my trip to the ER was short. The hospital was only about a mile away. Not many people were in the ER, so the doctors and nurses checked me out soon after arriving. After a set of X-rays, they determined that I fractured my left humerus bone, just below the shoulder. When I lost my footing on the ice and since the sidewalk sloped downward, my shoulder and arm took a direct hit instead of my bum.

The doctors decided that the fracture was not severe enough to put on a cast, but a sling would suffice. The doctor advised me to follow up with an orthopedic surgeon within a few days to determine a full recovery plan. The days and weeks ahead would be a challenge. One that I have never forget. In all my life, I had never broken any bones, so this was a first for me. In a series of posts, I will share some of my experiences and how it took almost six months to be back to normal.

Easter 2020

Hello, Elegant Ones,

Resurrection Sunday 2020

I hope you are having a blessed day. Today, we celebrate the most important day in the Christian faith. The significance of Easter is far more important than that of Christmas. If it were not for  Jesus Christ defeating death, hell, and the grave; we would not have the everlasting life promised to us. All I can say is, “Thank You, Jesus!”

We all know that Easter 2020 is not like any other Easter that any of us have ever experienced. For the first time since the resurrection of Jesus, people are at home celebrating this holiday. Church buildings are closed and people are not able to gather together and share in their faith. This virus has caused the world to cease normal activities and seek safety in our homes.

Although we could not gather in person with our church family, we were still able to get together through Facebook live streaming the service. Thanks to technology we are able to still see our family and friends, meet up with colleagues and attend concerts in another city. Could you imagine what it would be like if we didn’t have this technology? We definitely would be alone, and I know many of us would not be able to cope with it.

One tradition that my wife and I usually do after we get home from Easter service is to take a few family portraits. You know, for new profile pics on Facebook and Instagram. And this year was no different. My wife picked a blue lace dress that she had bought last year and I picked a shirt, pant, vest combo that coordinated with my blue. We didn’t want what was going on in the world to stop us from keeping up with our traditions. It would be so easy to say, “WHY? It’s not worth it!” We can’t let the circumstances of what is happening today to stop us from living our life. We can’t let the devil win! We need to remember that the church is not a building we go to, but we are the church. Wherever we are, the church is right there! So that is why we decided to get dressed like we normally would do for Easter Service and take part in our annual photoshoot. The only difference was this year it was inside because it was raining here at the time.

Easter Service was so good and yes we can be at church in our homes watching the service on the television or our smartphone or tablet.
The message was, “Put Jesus in the Center of the Crisis”

Some of my notes from the message from my pastor. For one is that God is for us and we have to make him bigger than the virus.
How big is your God today?

What do we need to make Christ the center of the crisis?

Believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and died for our sins and rose again.
Accept him as your Savior.
Make him my Lord and put him first. Give God the first part of every day
Share the love of God with someone.

It was so moving to watch Andrea Bocelli performing at the Duomo Cathedral in Milan, Italy. Amazing Grace really touched me.  If you haven’t seen it please watch this performance of hope for the world please watch the video below.

Happy Easter! May your day be filled with the peace and joy that comes from knowing the Risen Savior!

Jay