Hello Beautiful People,
Today my wife and I are celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary.
It seems like only yesterday when many twists of fate brought us to work at the same organization in 1996. We met when her division moved into the same building I worked in. Our paths soon crossed. We learned that even though we came from different backgrounds, it was God’s plan to bring us together. I grew up in a small rural town in central Missouri, while she is a big-city girl. We would talk into the early morning hours and realize that we shared many similar interests and beliefs. Our friendship grew strong, and love blossomed.
We married on September 11, 1999.
J and T in Assisi
We are often asked what the keys to a successful marriage are. You do not need formal training to be a marriage counselor or expert. You just need to be willing to seek God’s wisdom as the guide for your marriage.
I wanted to share 23 things we have learned through the years that have made our marriage strong and a pleasure to be a part of. I will share them in a four-part series, starting with this post.
1) Pray First
Not a day goes by when we do not pray for each other and our marriage. This is by far the most important factor that I would tell anyone. We would not be where we are without thanking God for our spouse and His blessings, asking Him to strengthen our marriage, and seeking His wisdom in making decisions. We pray whether we are at home preparing for a day at work or if we are on vacation. It doesn’t matter. We always pray, every day.
2) Communicate Often
A successful marriage cannot happen if we are not talking. Talking is the only way that we will get to know each other. The more that we alk, the closer I get to her soul. I find out what her needs are and what her dreams are. I learn about things in her past that have shaped her current behaviors and beliefs. The longer we are married, the more important it is to continue the conversations. Life happens, dreams change, and a whole new set of circumstances must be discussed. Talking never stops.
3) Best Friends
We found out early in our relationship, before we were married, that we listened to many of the same types of music, watched the same television show genres, and shared many political and moral beliefs. Spending time together was not a chore but a treat because we enjoyed the same leisure activities, like hiking, shopping, and road tripping. We are best friends in every sense of the word and focus on keeping that in focus.
4) Never Go To Bed Angry
In the almost 25 years we have known each other, there have been times when we have not agreed or may have been angry with each other about a specific situation. We have made a point that we work out the situation before going to bed. I want to know what is causing that disagreement and what can be done to fix the situation. A healthy marriage cannot allow strife to linger around.
5) Say I LOVE YOU Often
I LOVE YOU is a simple phrase we often say to each other. Whether we are talking on the phone, leaving off to work, or going to bed at night, I LOVE YOU is always a part of the conversation. I don’t want her to assume anything. I want her to know. It has become a regular part of our conversation. It seems a bit odd if I don’t do it. If I forget, I make sure I do the next opportunity I get.
6) Quiet Hugs
There is something special about a hug that can bring us closer together when life’s situations get in the way. A hug can relieve a stressful situation or lessen the burdens of a bad situation. Many times no words are spoken, just a quiet hug, holding each other close and squeezing each other tight. And it is not just a short hug, but one that can last for several minutes. The closeness is broken only by an encouraging word with a kiss and then another hug, followed by an I LOVE YOU.
More keys will follow in more posts that will be written this week. We are celebrating our anniversary all month long.
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